Mr. Twist's Ruined Life

1. A castle might ruin you. A ruin won't ruin you.
    

2. You might not receive a key from the seller because there may be no door.
    

3. If you don't add a door, burglars won't bother you.
    

4. Marketing literature won't arrive because there won't be a letter box if you don't add a door. 
    

5. No water or electricity bills because you probably have no water or electricity.
    

6. People will say your property is damaged. You can remind them that a broken ruin works but if their car breaks they'll have to repair it.
    

7. People will say it's not a wise investment. You can remind them that a new car depreciates in value faster than a 1,000 year-old ruin.
    

8. People will say it might fall down. You can remind them that it has already fallen down.
    

9. People will criticise you for stabilising your ruin rather than improving your house. You can explain that stabilising a ruin is akin to urgent surgery while improving a house is akin to cosmetic surgery.
    

10. With this new perspective on life, you'll start to see other things differently too.

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